Dear Boy,

Last night was a surprise.

A shock even.

I never expected to have sex with you, and even when I laid myself down on your bed to go to sleep, I planned to do just that. Sleep. Does that sound a bit naïve? Maybe. Then, you put your arm around me, and…it was nice. It was comforting. It was the first time in months that a man did that, and I felt so comfortable. It was a slippery slope from there to fucking. Still, I must be honest and tell you that in the sober light of day I had my regrets about giving in to my impulses. Truth be told, I felt afterwards like how I can only assume one would feel after they got drunk and slept with their cousin! Like, no matter how good it felt, it was still wrong and you wouldn’t want anyone finding out about it. Granted I know that’s somewhat extreme as you are a friend not a relative, but still…you’re as close to me as family and thus there is something about experiencing such physical intimacy with you that makes me feel somewhat weird, and wrong. It’s just not something we should do.

Let me be very clear when I say what happened last night, while enjoyable, can never, Never, NEVER happen again. Friends cannot have sex with each other….well, they CAN but they shouldn’t if neither have the intent of pursuing a relationship, and I have no intentions of doing so. Trust me; I’ve been down this road many times. I’ve tried playing the ‘friends with benefits’ game and it always ends in a clusterfuck of confusion, and hard feelings.

You know it as well as I do.

Thus, I wish to keep my friends, friends.

Please do not be offended. It’s not that I don’t care for you, it’s quite the opposite. I respect you, even love you as family, but I am not in a position to be anyone’s girlfriend, and being a ‘fuck buddy’ is not an option.

I do not consider the title of ‘friend’ in any way to be a diminished position. Please know this. Please be my friend. You’re an incredible friend, and I love you dearly as such.

We’ll always have last night….